Dirty Windows Are Still See-Through

Dirty Windows Are Still See-Through by Noah Wizard

I don’t know about you, but my family raised me to think that a 99% on a test was the same as failing.


1% wrong, and we were entirely wrong.

Dirty windows are still see-through though.

In the rest of life, we compromise and accept imperfect results all the time because that is all there are: imperfect results.

Did they hold us to that standard so that one thing in their life could be perfect?

We existed, was that not perfect enough for them?

Dirty windows are still see-through.

We had no broken glass. Nothing was papered over.

We let in nothing but light.

A smudge.

Not even enough to truly call us windows dirty.

1% of failure.

Still too much.

It’s enough to make you want to be a wall; let them see how little light shines in then.



Author’s Note:

I don’t normally write anything too dark; maybe you read that and did not think it was dark. For anyone feeling that their family does not understand them, for anyone considering what revenge it would be to remove yourself from your family, that’s the time when you gotta find some help. This might seem like an overreaction to some, but I’m leaving the Suicide Prevention Lifeline here in case anyone needs it. 1–800–273–8255

Writing can provide catharsis. It’s been years since I’ve felt like my family couldn’t understand me; I literally became a professional communicator so that I would be heard.

However, sometimes old stuff will bubble up, and writing can be a way to work through it.

Stuff will come up while writing, and these writing prompts may be part of you finding out some hurt still lurks within and needs a way out.

Also I know of two therapists who were willing to come up with payment plans or work for much less than their usual rate if you don’t have insurance to cover seeing them. One therapist was plenty happy to let me pay $20 per visit until I got my finances worked out.

Help matters.

Working through stuff when writing can be great for getting interesting parts of your life knocked loose and sometimes it’s really cool writing, other times it’s just something that needed to be said, whether you feel that way or not. But it helps to have professionals listen and help you work through anything that might be lurking there.

Getting clear in the head took me hundreds of therapy visits; never feel ashamed about going. Many weeks it didn’t even seem like anything was really wrong that week but I kept the appointment and found out I did in fact need to go and need to work through some stuff.

I can’t imagine living without having gone through therapy, especially as someone writing this frequently, because always, stuff will come up.

Complete and Continue